When we read about a baby dying (at least those of us who have never lost a baby and know the truth), we lie and tell ourselves it could never happen to us because babies born in our families are healthy.
When we read of a horrible tragedy like a mass shooting of students, we cry out and demand changes in our system, but then we move on after a few days, weeks or months, barely thinking of it at all. Meanwhile, the people directly affected and the community are left with daily reminders. It’s always fresh there.
When someone tells us about something horrific in their life, like their child dying, people start spouting out things, mainly to make themselves feel better.
One of the most common is, “Everything happens for a reason.”
We need to say something. We stutter and think of anything that might provide comfort, not knowing in this situation words can’t take away the pain, they can only add to it.
People like to stay in their protective bubble of everyday life, and just can’t face that sometimes things don’t happen for a reason. That sometimes there is absolutely no excuse or possible end outcome that could make losing a baby better.
Think about it. What possible reason could be worth losing a baby? There’s nothing on the planet I would give up or gain in exchange for my baby.
Not everything happens for a reason.