She once knew who she was.
She once knew what she looked like.
She once knew what others saw in her.
When she looked in the mirror she saw her whole self. She saw her physical self and loved what she saw. She felt confident, she saw confidence. She saw pretty bright eyes, shiny hair, dewy skin and a smile that brightened people’s day. She saw in inner self and saw her goals and dreams and was so excited.
The girl in the mirror now, has changed, has grown, has aged.
She no longer sees her whole self. Just bits and pieces. Her self-awareness has diminished.
She some days barely glances at her self in the mirror and realizes she hasn’t brushed her hair as she walks in to work.
Some days she may only see her hair or the clothes she wears, she now only focuses on the little things, because some days, that’s all she can handle.
She now sees the red veins in her eyes.
She now sees her hair not as shiny.
She now sees spots and wrinkles on her skin.
Others still say she’s so upbeat, happy, and energetic, this girl though, is clever and knows how to fake it.
What the others don’t see is her break down in tears, barely able to breathe while her husband can only hold her. They don’t see her table of meds and vitamins that help keep her going.
She still has hopes and dreams but they are not strong, how can they be when the biggest hope and dream keeps breaking?
Now when this girl really looks in the mirror, she can sometimes see glimpses of that other girl and in turn really sees her self in the present but she some days doesn’t know who that is and realizes she’s not the same and never will be.