Miscarriage: What I want you to know

What I Want You to Know

April 12, 2013

Miscarriage: What I want you to know

It did not happen because of something I did.

It was not God’s will.

It doesn’t make me feel any better when you speculate on why it happened.

I hate the term “try again”.

It’s okay for me to cry.

It’s not better or worse that my pregnancy wasn’t further along.

I don’t want to be told it was for the best.

I want to define it in my own way, not always in line with the “medical” terms.

I want you to check-in with me, but not be offended when I don’t answer.

My living children don’t make up for my lost children.

Don’t tell me to be grateful for what I have, it stifles my grieving process.

I have good days and I have bad days. Yes, even years later.

I wish you remembered their birthday.

I want you to say their name.

No, I am not over it.

Yes, I am still grieving.

Photo credit: adapted from photostock

  • Devan McGuinness

    Devan McGuinness is the founder of the online resource Unspoken Grief, dedicated to breaking the silence of perinatal grief for those directly and indirectly affected by miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death. Using her own experience of surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan has been actively supporting and encouraging others who are wading through the challenges associated with perinatal and neonatal loss.

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