Easy For You To Say

March 27, 2013

Easy For You To Say

A couple months ago, after having one too many clichés flung in my face, through a mess of tears, I wrote this. Then I daydreamed about the next time someone clichés all over me– instead of nodding and smiling while crying inside, or kindly educating them about a more comforting and helpful way to talk to a bereaved parent– I’d have enough grit and grace to recite this instead:

Easy for you to say God needed another angel
since God didn’t ask you for yours.

Easy for you to say God has a plan
if all of God’s plans for you have precisely tailgated your own like a lovely fairy tale.

Easy for you to say everything happens for a reason
please tell me one good reason my son is forever buried deep underground?

Easy for you to say trust God
if you’ve never felt betrayed by the heavens themselves.

Easy for you to say hang on to hope
if you can still find your rope.

Easy for you to say time heals all wounds
if time has already made perfect heart-shaped scabs of yours.

Easy for you to say be thankful for what you have
would you like to switch places with me and feel how little I have left?

Easy for you to say God needed another flower for his garden
if none of your ‘flowers’ have ever been plucked before their time.

Easy for you to say find peace and move on
if you haven’t had to hold your dead child’s hand inside the curves of your living one.

Easy for you to say he’s in a better place
if you still get to hold your child in the best place there is.

Easy for you to say you’re young, you can have more
would you be willing to exchange your living child for those you might someday have?

Easy for you to say every cloud has a silver lining
if you haven’t been asked to walk through this never-ending storm of mine.

Easy for you to say it was God’s will
if the plan you got currently includes all of your children rambunctiously romping around your living room.

. . .

. . .

. . .

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  • Angela Miller

    Angela Miller is a writer, speaker and grief advocate who provides support and solace to those who are grieving the loss of a child. She is the author of You Are the Mother Of All Mothers: A Message Of Hope For the Grieving Heart, founder of the award-winning online community A Bed for My Heart, writer for the Open to Hope Foundation and Still Standing Magazine. Angela writes candidly about child loss and grief without sugar coating the reality of life after loss. Her writing and her book have been featured in Forbes, Psychology Today, MPR, BlogTalk Radio, Open to Hope Radio and Writerly, among others. When she’s not writing, traveling, or healing hearts, you can find Angela making every moment count with her two beautiful, blue-eyed boys.


    • Derek Möhr

      March 21, 2016 at 6:39 am

      We lost our granddaughter age 3 years 8 months 18 months ago when she succumbed to a mystery infection after having beaten leukaemia. So we can identify with much of what is being expressed here. Please read a grieving grandmother ‘s response here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154690562218242&id=837713241

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