Condolences speak to the loss of a child as if it is past tense, an event we once had but are no longer experiencing. Losing a child is not a one-time event. Their death and the loss of your child from your life continues to be experienced over and over and over again. There are…
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Grief Is A Thief
Grief is a thief, stealing so much from the grieving and those close to them. The wake is messy with shrapnel flying and everyone in your life being hit by it to a degree. If you are close to the eye of the storm coming out unharmed is a miracle. Doing so probably means you…
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Facing The Triggers
Yesterday was a day of triggers I did not see coming, and it was like a cruel punch to the gut. The kind that winds you, leaving you crawling on the ground and gasping for air. You know the ones…the triggers that hurt so bad there are no cries or words that sum it up.…
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Supporting You in Grief Saved Me Too
As I emerged from my recurrent pregnancy losses, I discovered that the new version of me had found her calling: to help support others in their grief. Just like a lifeguard devotes time and attention to make sure other swimmers are safe, I’m now standing on the shore of grief throwing out lifelines to those…
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When There’s Uncertainty That a Rainbow Will Ever Come
I never heard the term rainbow baby until suddenly being plummeted into the pregnancy loss world nearly two years ago. Today, I’m uncertain that my husband and I ever will be able to experience the beauty and joy of a rainbow after the savage storm. Last summer, I found out that nine friends all were…
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When Hearing “I Know What You’re Going Through” Hurts
“I know what you are going through.” I quickly dreaded hearing these words after the death of our infant son. Words like, “I understand how you feel. I too lost a baby/had a miscarriage.” These words pierced my soul like no other. I had dozens of women, and sometimes men, say these words to me…
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Christmas Eve without My Son: This Year Will Be Different
Christmas Eve has always been one of the worst days of the year for me. This will be my fifth Christmas without my son. Now that his younger sisters are old enough to be excited, I see the expectation and awe in their eyes. And I now know the magical moments that I’ve missed with…