One day shy of a year ago, I wrote my first self-care article. It was about journaling as self-care. And it was well received and I was happy to have written it. I've written just shy of a dozen more articles on self-care. Time for a dose of honesty. Even though I know the best things that bereaved parents can do for themselves, I don't always do … [Read more...]
My son should be turning seven. Seven. So far I've survived five of his birthdays without him. Five. He was killed when he was two. Two. It doesn't add up. It hasn't since the day he was violently robbed from me and it never will. Just thinking about another birthday without him makes me want to crawl into my bed and never come … [Read more...]
Guest Post by Tara Shafer We all understand loss in our own way and the path towards understanding is a deeply personal one. As such, the newly launched Reconceiving Loss, an online resource for pregnancy loss and healing, offers personal and communal refuge. It is for women and men and relevant to pregnancy loss occurring at any stage. It is … [Read more...]
As a teacher, I recently did an activity with a group of sophomores in which the students reflected upon their past year and came up with advice about what they wish they had known as freshman. They had to narrow the list down to the top 10 pieces of advice and later this month they will have an opportunity to share this advice with younger students. I … [Read more...]
It was 1am. I couldn't sleep. No surprises there. I lit a sweet pea and jasmine candle that my dear friend gave to me on Christian's birthday. She told me that her friend had given her one and told her that when she was feeling sad to light the candle, inhale its scent and imagine a warm hug from her. My friend wanted the same thing for me. Oh how I … [Read more...]
So often, after a loss, our relationship with our significant others--spouse, partner, boy- or girlfriend--gets left in the dust. Intimacy can suffer. It can be hard to even look the other person in the face sometimes, for a variety of reasons from feeling like a failure to feeling like perhaps they are a failure. Or perhaps you're grieving differently: … [Read more...]
It’s so easy to shut life out in the midst of deep grief. It’s so difficult, if not impossible at times, to let life in. I remember the first time I laughed out loud after my son died. The onslaught of immediate guilt I felt shocked me more than the laugh itself. In that fleeting millisecond of joy, it felt like I had betrayed my son in the … [Read more...]
Dearest ___________________, (your name here.) Happy Valentine's Day to you. I am sending you this note because I wanted to remind you that you are loved. I know, deep down, you know that, but sometimes it gets so easy to forget. On those days when your patience is thin, your temper is high and you feel like you need a super-sized time-out just to … [Read more...]
Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything Take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour Has come to this ~Christina Perri~ I stepped into her photography studio, silk and lace and heels tucked cautiously away optimistically apprehensive. After 3 years it was time. To … [Read more...]
One of the things that has been the most helpful for me was to finally tell my story. Everywhere I could. I told it to my friends, I told it to my co-workers, I told it to strangers, I told it to fellow congregants at church. And every time I did, someone cried. Sometimes it was me. Sometimes it was them. When I tell it now, I choke up, but rarely cry. … [Read more...]
Guest Post by Melissa Neu I don’t know that I’ve ever been so exhausted. Sit and cry exhausted. Stomach hurting exhausted. “I’m tired, I’m worn, my heart is heavy. From the work it takes, to keep on breathing…” I’ve been seeing a counselor. I had put off making the appt I knew I needed because [...]
Guest Post by Emilee Frisbie If someone would have told me a year ago where I would be now, I never would believe them. I would tell them that stories that sad are made up, purely fiction. I would tell them, things like that don’t happen to me. They don’t happen to my family. I [...]
