Guest Post by Kristyn I found out I was pregnant 6 months after our wedding. As I watched that second little pink line on the pregnancy test get darker and darker, I instantly fell in love with the tiny being inside me. I remember my husband Mark just staring at me as I told him we were having a baby. I jumped up and down, and he sat quietly smiling. … [Read more...]
The Sound of Grief
May 14, 2013 by 6 Comments
Why do my children decide to climb on the outside and restricted area of the McDonalds play place? The one building they purposely invite you to explore winding slides, rope bridges and twisting tunnels is still not enough to keep them from eagerly pushing the boundaries. Amidst the many children who run, jump and scream throughout the play place, I … [Read more...]
Weathering the Storm Together – Marriage after Child Loss
May 7, 2013 by 5 Comments
When I was pregnant with Nora I was worried about how introducing a child into our lives would change the relationship between my husband and me. Nick and I have had a strong loving connection since our first date, after meeting through online dating. We are a perfect match in every way. His calm and cool character balances out my anxious and worried … [Read more...]
The Frailty of Family
April 9, 2013 by 9 Comments
The structure of a support system is something that I haven’t been very familiar with in my personal life. I have cloudy memories of some tradition when I was a small boy. Those memories usually came from holidays and they are blurry at best. At some point in both my immediate and extended family, something broke and has not been fixed since. Was … [Read more...]
What I Want To Tell You…A Year Later.
April 5, 2013 by 3 Comments
I am five days away from the year anniversary of a D&C. No... It wasn't like walking into the hospital overdue and walking out a day later, having to get into a car with an empty carseat...anticipating the baby that would never sit in it. That was a hell all its own. But it was hell, of that you can be sure. It was not just some … [Read more...]
Monster Mommy
December 21, 2012 by 13 Comments
I have a secret that I am not proud of. Out in public, I smile, I joke, I laugh, and I am especially patient with my children. I am the person that you may see and admire from a distance. The one who appears to have it all together. I am that mom that empty nesters compliment in the grocery store because I haven't gone 'psycho' on the kids who … [Read more...]
Sex and Babyloss
September 18, 2012 by 8 Comments
When my husband and I drove away from the hospital where our daughter, Eve, was stillborn, empty armed and brokenhearted, the future felt like a wide open blank. I didn't know what to expect – other than to expect to grieve. I knew that not only did I need to grieve, but that I wanted to. When we arrived home without our baby girl, the phrase … [Read more...]
Inside the Mind of a Grieving Father Pt. 1
July 31, 2012 by 28 Comments
Women carry the baby. Some for weeks, others for months. They hold them until that final moment. Their emotions are ever-present in the souls of their eyes. Women talk. They write. They find groups. They seek support. But what about the dads in the scenario? The ones who sometimes never get to see, touch or hold their child. These pillars of physical … [Read more...]
When Your Baby Has Died and Your Friends are Pregnant
July 17, 2012 by 59 Comments
I was the first in our circle of friends to become pregnant. Soon after my husband and I discovered that we were expecting our first child, three of our friends discovered the same in quick succession. I rejoiced at the idea that our daughter, Eve, would grow up with the children of our friends. And then she died. Truly, I am the one in four. Four … [Read more...]
