The Puzzle of Grief

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My life before losing Aiden was like a puzzle where the pieces were coming together to form the picture I had always imagined for my life. I had finished university, earning two degrees that interested me. I had a loving and supportive family who I was grateful for. I had a close group of friends who I loved and had fun with. I had travelled to some … [Read more...]

The People You’ll Meet

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You're going to encounter a lot of people along your grief journey. A lot of people, and a lot of different reactions to your loss. Sometimes, these interactions will leave you feeling completely at a loss for words - flabbergasted, even - and feeling more alone than ever. Other times, you'll leave the conversation feeling validated, secure, and … [Read more...]

10 Ways to Honor Your Friend’s Child that Died this October

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Do you have a friend whose baby died? Maybe she took a healthy baby home and months later her son died tragically of SIDS. Or maybe he never got to meet his baby awake outside of the womb because his daughter was stillborn. Maybe you have a friend who suffered a miscarriage more than once but once is enough pain to endure. Maybe you have a friend whose … [Read more...]

Their deaths, My legacy

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"The only way I can introduce you to my sons is through me."  Whoa. Heard that from a grieving father who had lost his son in war. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child that was an adult. By then you know who they are, what drives them, what annoys them, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry.  The only way you could get to … [Read more...]

That’s my Daughter to Me

It's been two years, one month, two weeks and four days since my daughter died. I should have been watching my baby grow and blossom in that time, but instead I've had to learn to live without her. The day she died a part of me died as well. I try to fill that space with the gifts my daughter gave me. She taught me how precious life is and to value my … [Read more...]

Five Years Of Grief

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Five years. 5 years. F.I.V.E. years ago, on September 25th we said goodbye. Half a decade of my life, learning to live- and I mean REALLY live, this side of loss. Can I be honest? I am so tired of grief. I mean, tiiiired. Not my own grief; my grief is my partner, my voice, my joy, my daughters.... But grief,  GRIEF - the topic, the imagery, … [Read more...]

Over and Over Again

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She didn't need useless cliches or a string of empty words flung around her neck like a too-tight string of pearls that choked. She didn't need illogical logic or to hear that "everything happens for a reason" because there was no reason good enough in heaven or earth worth the pain of losing her child. She didn't need vile judgments or cruel … [Read more...]

Strength and Weakness

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I have to admit that for a long time, a very, very, long time, I have been that woman. That woman who felt weak and disempowered by well, life. I allowed the waves to crash upon me with full force and I surrendered to the tide that would pull me so easily under. My spirit wasn’t cracked, it was broken, and every piece that lay scattered about reminded … [Read more...]

One Less Second Grader

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Signs of back to school are everywhere. For some parents it might be a relief. Summer is over, and the school schedule is a welcome change. For bereaved parents, signs of torture are everywhere. Over-sized backpacks, school supplies, car drop off and pick up lines. It's a sucker punch to the gut. Everywhere you look there are painful reminders of … [Read more...]

This Too Is Birth, Not Death

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Those were the words from the poem printed on the funeral stationary for our babies...both times. Focusing on the birth of a baby, the realization that all babies are born is one of the powerful and profound truths we learned while taking our birth and bereavement training through stillbirthday.com to serve as an SGM/SBD for Sufficient Grace … [Read more...]