The Raw Reality Of Grieving “Right”

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  I think one of the hardest things in life is to feel like you don’t matter to someone. That’s probably the last thing that grieving parents need to feel. I can promise you, the guilt I carry around needs no encouragement from your opinions of whether I’m doing this whole grieving thing right. I have "moved on."  Every.  Single.  Day.   My … [Read more...]

Say It Again

When something unbelievable happens to us or another person, many of us react by telling the story multiple times. We need to tell it to someone and see their reaction, maybe different reactions. "Can you believe she cheated on him?" "I heard he lost his job after screaming at his boss." "I was just driving down the road and she pulled in front … [Read more...]

There Is No Winning In Child Loss

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A couple weeks ago I had the incredible honor of winning a Butterfly Award in England. The Butterfly Awards honor champions and survivors of baby loss-- those making a difference in the lives of bereaved parents. Unfortunately I wasn't able to accept the award in person, but I did have the honor of writing an acceptance speech that was read on my … [Read more...]

The Puzzle of Grief

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My life before losing Aiden was like a puzzle where the pieces were coming together to form the picture I had always imagined for my life. I had finished university, earning two degrees that interested me. I had a loving and supportive family who I was grateful for. I had a close group of friends who I loved and had fun with. I had travelled to some … [Read more...]

The People You’ll Meet

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You're going to encounter a lot of people along your grief journey. A lot of people, and a lot of different reactions to your loss. Sometimes, these interactions will leave you feeling completely at a loss for words - flabbergasted, even - and feeling more alone than ever. Other times, you'll leave the conversation feeling validated, secure, and … [Read more...]

10 Ways to Honor Your Friend’s Child that Died this October

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Do you have a friend whose baby died? Maybe she took a healthy baby home and months later her son died tragically of SIDS. Or maybe he never got to meet his baby awake outside of the womb because his daughter was stillborn. Maybe you have a friend who suffered a miscarriage more than once but once is enough pain to endure. Maybe you have a friend whose … [Read more...]

Their deaths, My legacy

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"The only way I can introduce you to my sons is through me."  Whoa. Heard that from a grieving father who had lost his son in war. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child that was an adult. By then you know who they are, what drives them, what annoys them, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry.  The only way you could get to … [Read more...]

That’s my Daughter to Me

It's been two years, one month, two weeks and four days since my daughter died. I should have been watching my baby grow and blossom in that time, but instead I've had to learn to live without her. The day she died a part of me died as well. I try to fill that space with the gifts my daughter gave me. She taught me how precious life is and to value my … [Read more...]

Five Years Of Grief

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Five years. 5 years. F.I.V.E. years ago, on September 25th we said goodbye. Half a decade of my life, learning to live- and I mean REALLY live, this side of loss. Can I be honest? I am so tired of grief. I mean, tiiiired. Not my own grief; my grief is my partner, my voice, my joy, my daughters.... But grief,  GRIEF - the topic, the imagery, … [Read more...]

Over and Over Again

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She didn't need useless cliches or a string of empty words flung around her neck like a too-tight string of pearls that choked. She didn't need illogical logic or to hear that "everything happens for a reason" because there was no reason good enough in heaven or earth worth the pain of losing her child. She didn't need vile judgments or cruel … [Read more...]