Guest Post by Tara Shafer We all understand loss in our own way and the path towards understanding is a deeply personal one. As such, the newly launched Reconceiving Loss, an online resource for pregnancy loss and healing, offers personal and communal refuge. It is for women and men and relevant to pregnancy loss occurring at any stage. It is … [Read more...]
When the World Goes Wrong
January 3, 2013 by 4 Comments
When the world goes wrong, when tragedy strikes, when you just cannot handle one more emotional strain in an already overflowing current of grief . . . take time for yourself. It is alright to turn off the world, the news, the Internet, the phone (whatever you need) and just shut things out for a while. On a Friday that changed the world {Sandy … [Read more...]
Needling the Issue: Using Acupuncture to Get Pregnant
December 27, 2012 by 7 Comments
We’ve all heard the urban myth, “My friend’s neighbor’s cousin got pregnant after 8 years of trying during her second month of using acupuncture,” but is the money, commitment, and of course overcoming the fear of being stuck with tons of needles worth it? I decided to find out and have spent the past fifteen months exploring acupuncture and … [Read more...]
Diagnosis: Grief? (Part III)
December 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment
In Diagnosis: Grief? and Diagnosis: Grief? (Part II) I wrote about the proposal to remove the bereavement exclusion from the diagnostic information for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV). All of the proposed changes have been reviewed and the final decisions have been made … [Read more...]
Self Care: Exercise
October 8, 2012 by 3 Comments
I know all too well how easy it can be to plop yourself on the couch with the TV, computer or book as your escape, your way to spend your free time. When you're grieving or hurting, mourning the loss or the baby that may or may not ever be, it frequently feels good to check out, I'll be the first to admit it. Grief is stressful; infertility is … [Read more...]
Self Care: Support Groups
September 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment
I was convinced that support groups weren't for me. I completed my grief counseling and I had the support of a Stephen Minister, a lay caregiver trained through our church. I had all the help I needed, I thought. But I didn't realize that something was missing. I had been referred to a support group via another babyloss mom, but never got up the … [Read more...]
When the News Triggers Your PTSD
August 1, 2012 by 10 Comments
After my daughter died, my doctor told me that PTSD was a possibility, "It's like you've been to war," she explained. We are loss mom warriors. We have been to battle, and some of us do get PTSD. I started having anxiety and nightmares. I started avoiding situations. I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Turns out that I'm not the … [Read more...]
Self-Care: “Me Time”
July 9, 2012 by 1 Comment
You should take some "Me Time"--time to yourself doing something that's only for you. Your son or daughter has died. You've taken the umpteenth negative pregnancy test. You've just walked away from an ultrasound where they saw no heartbeat. You feel very alone. We all do when these things happen. Then why on earth would I tell you to take "Me … [Read more...]
Baby Weight Without the Baby
July 4, 2012 by 24 Comments
When my daughter died, I gained at least 80 pounds. I ate my way through grief. I loved comfort food, coupled with a total inability to fully function and cook, I would eat ice cream for dinner followed by a candy bar (yummmm, chocolate). I remember standing in front of the oven and trying to cook when my sister in law came three weeks later. I just … [Read more...]
Self Care: Meditation
June 28, 2012 by 7 Comments
Grieving parents know that it is very easy to become preoccupied with thoughts of the child who has died. Our minds often return to the circumstances of their death, or we wonder who they would be now. Sometimes to the point of distraction. The same thing can happen with couples who are struggling with infertility. They're preoccupied with thoughts … [Read more...]
