• The Physical Pain Of Grief

    February 21, 2018

    It has been over three years since I first experienced grief at its most heightened level. I had experienced grief before with the passing of my grandmother, a close friend, and extended family. But when my own child died and I held his body in my arms, I was confronted with a grief that I’d…

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  • When Grief Surprises You

    February 20, 2018

    Grief hit me hard this year on my birthday. Unexpected grief is always the hardest to handle because it is a surprise. When anniversaries or special occasions appear on the calendar, I can brace myself, somewhat prepare for what I expect will come. The date gives me permission to sink and release. When it’s unplanned,…

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  • Gardening through Grief

    Gardening Through Grief

    February 17, 2018

    My childhood is blessed with memories of apple orchards, picking blackberries, raking autumn leaves and snowmen. And yes, of gardening, of being a reluctant helper in my parents’ soggy vegetable plot. When I started a family I knew I wanted my children to feel compassion and connected to living things. I’d been working in a city…

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  • Healing Is Every Day Work

    February 14, 2018

    Someone recently asked me, “After all this time, and all the writing and speaking you’ve done about the twins, does it still hurt just as badly to talk about it?” I had to think long and hard before I answered. As with most things, there wasn’t really a yes or no answer for this. “Grief…

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  • When Grief Takes Work And Time

    February 11, 2018

    The old adage is that “Time heals wounds,” as if time itself holds some sort of healing powers. Any woman in grief would tell you it doesn’t. Time may cause the experience of grief to ebb and flow, but it does not in and of itself heal the wounds that have come out of the…

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  • Finding Joy After The Pain Of Loss

    February 11, 2018

    After losing my son Emmett nearly two years ago, I couldn’t comprehend the idea of “joy.” How could I possibly ever find delight or pleasure in the same activities and thoughts that I once found so enjoyable? I felt such overwhelming guilt. Survivor’s guilt. Why couldn’t it have been me instead of my son? I…

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    Grief Changes, Tears Still Flow

    February 9, 2018

    In the beginning, my emotions were so strong, so raw. I felt like I was in a dark, dank hole clawing with every bit of my soul to find a way out. My child was gone. My child had died. I had lost a part of me. In those first few minutes and hours, I…

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