To the Heart Holders

heart holder

When I was deep in the throes of grief, I needed to talk about losing Aiden. I needed to have the same conversation over and over again because I needed to talk and talk and talk to begin healing. It was the only way I could start to process the trauma of losing him. I needed to say out loud how unfair it was that he died, how brutal it was watching him … [Read more...]

This Crappy Club Called Child Loss


Sometimes grief makes me feellike I'm losing my mind. Like my brain has been hijacked. No, really. A few weeks ago, I read the beginning of a sentence over and over again about twenty or thirty times. It took me almost that long to figure out why my brain couldn't makes sense of it. Then-- BAM-- it hit me. Upside the head and then some. The … [Read more...]

Reflections 4 Years Later

The end of this month will mark 4 years since Gabi’s death. It is hard to believe that 4 years have passed since my whole world collapsed around me. Holding her warm body in my arms and seeing the huge knot in the umbilical cord that had taken her life. I just wanted to push the ‘undo’ button and move life back to just long enough to save her … [Read more...]

Living After Loss

life after loss

Your baby has died.  The unexpected has happened to you.  Your world has stopped turning, and you can’t believe that it continues to turn for other people.  You walk through life sad and numb for a good while until you slowly start to feel the world turning again.  It starts small.  Maybe you allow yourself to listen to music again in your car.  Nothing … [Read more...]

Returning to Work/Life After Loss

working woman

  Losing your child is beyond devastating. The pain of that goodbye is unlike anything else. Your world, in an instant changed. And, will never be the same. I've written before about the insult to injury that occurs after the death of your child, the strange phenomenon of not feeling familiar in your own skin. And, then. Then, … [Read more...]

Five Things Every Grieving Parent Can Be Grateful For Today


No matter how much time you got to spend with your child, whether that time was spent in your womb or in your arms, you and only you have the honor of being your child’s mother, not even death can take that from you. You also have the special privilege of keeping your child’s memory alive in whatever way feels right in your heart. There is no … [Read more...]

The Complete List of Do’s and Don’ts When Supporting the Bereaved

Grief Quotes by

On rare occasions, I had 'friends' tell me versions of: "Wouldn't it be time to move on?" or "You've got such a beautiful daughter, don't you think it would be better for her to stop mentioning her twin sister or the topic of grief and loss?" Who hasn't heard some version of the above? Have you? I find it hard when people tell me to change the way I … [Read more...]

What about the Mom Whose Baby Died?


A response to the #sogladtheytoldme initiative. I recently participated in the #sogladtheytoldme movement lead by Stephanie Sprenger, a mom and fellow blogger, who started the campaign to raise awareness about the difficulties of transitioning into motherhood and the realities of postpartum depression among women in her blog post, I’m Glad Someone … [Read more...]

The Bassinet

funeral baby bassinet

We were walking out of the old funeral home, which once stood stately and welcoming on Main Street of our small town, now dilapidated after years of neglect. As the auctioneer moved on to the next item up for bid, I stopped. In the center of the items, right in front of me, sat an empty, worn, dirty bassinet used for viewing infants. Immediately I felt … [Read more...]

Contradictions of a Grieving Heart


  Our son Aiden would have turned five years old this month. It was a hard birthday for me this year. Not only is five years a big milestone, but I also felt a lot of emotional turmoil this year. Knowing that grieving is not a linear process and “grief bursts” are a normal part of the process, I shouldn’t be surprised by the fact that this … [Read more...]