Siblings Grieve Too

simply time

This post is an excerpt from the book Sufficient Grace (Comfort Publishing) by Kelly Gerken: Timothy was two years old when we were expecting Faith and Grace. His little life was turned upside down by my extreme illness and constant vomiting. Then there was a long hospital stay and little contact from me. Of course, he was doted on by his … [Read more...]

Sharing My Fears Along Grief’s Roller Coaster

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I have spent countless nights lying awake listening to the even ebb and flow of my husband’s breath beside me, just trying to pinpoint the exact moment when I first heard the clack clack clack of my car along the surface of the tracks. I like to think that I had no idea. I like to think that it was not until hearing the words, “something is very, very … [Read more...]

A Playlist for the Bereaved Parent

Music for Mourning

The other night I was in a down mood.  My sadness had found me as I was cooking dinner before Nick got home.  I usually cook with music on so I decided to turn the song up.  It was a song I listened to when Nora was alive and it was called, "The Big White Gate," by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals.  It's a song about being on your death bed and … [Read more...]

It Could Never Happen To Me

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Often people will go to great lengths to convince themselves that what happened to you could never happen to them. Unfortunately, a host of comfortless cliches are usually born from the 'it-could-never-happen-to-me mentality.' I get it. It’s a defense mechanism people use to calm their own fears and to preserve their own senses of safety. It also … [Read more...]

Grief…Like Love

It’s been 2 years, 7 months and 15 days since my daughter died. By societal standards I should be completely healed and moved on. I should mainly think of her on her birthday. That is the day I am allowed to dwell and be sad. By the morning of the next day I must dust myself off and get back to life. This is not reality. Thoughts of my daughter … [Read more...]

To the Heart Holders

heart holder

When I was deep in the throes of grief, I needed to talk about losing Aiden. I needed to have the same conversation over and over again because I needed to talk and talk and talk to begin healing. It was the only way I could start to process the trauma of losing him. I needed to say out loud how unfair it was that he died, how brutal it was watching him … [Read more...]

This Crappy Club Called Child Loss

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Sometimes grief makes me feellike I'm losing my mind. Like my brain has been hijacked. No, really. A few weeks ago, I read the beginning of a sentence over and over again about twenty or thirty times. It took me almost that long to figure out why my brain couldn't makes sense of it. Then-- BAM-- it hit me. Upside the head and then some. The … [Read more...]

Reflections 4 Years Later

The end of this month will mark 4 years since Gabi’s death. It is hard to believe that 4 years have passed since my whole world collapsed around me. Holding her warm body in my arms and seeing the huge knot in the umbilical cord that had taken her life. I just wanted to push the ‘undo’ button and move life back to just long enough to save her … [Read more...]

Living After Loss

life after loss

Your baby has died.  The unexpected has happened to you.  Your world has stopped turning, and you can’t believe that it continues to turn for other people.  You walk through life sad and numb for a good while until you slowly start to feel the world turning again.  It starts small.  Maybe you allow yourself to listen to music again in your car.  Nothing … [Read more...]

Returning to Work/Life After Loss

working woman

  Losing your child is beyond devastating. The pain of that goodbye is unlike anything else. Your world, in an instant changed. And, you...you will never be the same. I've written before about the insult to injury that occurs after the death of your child, the strange phenomenon of not feeling familiar in your own skin. And, then. Then, … [Read more...]