A Playlist for the Bereaved Parent

Music for Mourning

The other night I was in a down mood.  My sadness had found me as I was cooking dinner before Nick got home.  I usually cook with music on so I decided to turn the song up.  It was a song I listened to when Nora was alive and it was called, "The Big White Gate," by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals.  It's a song about being on your death bed and … [Read more...]

It Could Never Happen To Me

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Often people will go to great lengths to convince themselves that what happened to you could never happen to them. Unfortunately, a host of comfortless cliches are usually born from the 'it-could-never-happen-to-me mentality.' I get it. It’s a defense mechanism people use to calm their own fears and to preserve their own senses of safety. It also … [Read more...]

Grief…Like Love

It’s been 2 years, 7 months and 15 days since my daughter died. By societal standards I should be completely healed and moved on. I should mainly think of her on her birthday. That is the day I am allowed to dwell and be sad. By the morning of the next day I must dust myself off and get back to life. This is not reality. Thoughts of my daughter … [Read more...]

To the Heart Holders

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When I was deep in the throes of grief, I needed to talk about losing Aiden. I needed to have the same conversation over and over again because I needed to talk and talk and talk to begin healing. It was the only way I could start to process the trauma of losing him. I needed to say out loud how unfair it was that he died, how brutal it was watching him … [Read more...]

This Crappy Club Called Child Loss

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Sometimes grief makes me feellike I'm losing my mind. Like my brain has been hijacked. No, really. A few weeks ago, I read the beginning of a sentence over and over again about twenty or thirty times. It took me almost that long to figure out why my brain couldn't makes sense of it. Then-- BAM-- it hit me. Upside the head and then some. The … [Read more...]

Reflections 4 Years Later

The end of this month will mark 4 years since Gabi’s death. It is hard to believe that 4 years have passed since my whole world collapsed around me. Holding her warm body in my arms and seeing the huge knot in the umbilical cord that had taken her life. I just wanted to push the ‘undo’ button and move life back to just long enough to save her … [Read more...]

Living After Loss

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Your baby has died.  The unexpected has happened to you.  Your world has stopped turning, and you can’t believe that it continues to turn for other people.  You walk through life sad and numb for a good while until you slowly start to feel the world turning again.  It starts small.  Maybe you allow yourself to listen to music again in your car.  Nothing … [Read more...]

Returning to Work/Life After Loss

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  Losing your child is beyond devastating. The pain of that goodbye is unlike anything else. Your world, in an instant changed. And, you...you will never be the same. I've written before about the insult to injury that occurs after the death of your child, the strange phenomenon of not feeling familiar in your own skin. And, then. Then, … [Read more...]

Five Things Every Grieving Parent Can Be Grateful For Today

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No matter how much time you got to spend with your child, whether that time was spent in your womb or in your arms, you and only you have the honor of being your child’s mother, not even death can take that from you. You also have the special privilege of keeping your child’s memory alive in whatever way feels right in your heart. There is no … [Read more...]

The Complete List of Do’s and Don’ts When Supporting the Bereaved

Grief Quotes by www.nathaliehimmelrich.com

On rare occasions, I had 'friends' tell me versions of: "Wouldn't it be time to move on?" or "You've got such a beautiful daughter, don't you think it would be better for her to stop mentioning her twin sister or the topic of grief and loss?" Who hasn't heard some version of the above? Have you? I find it hard when people tell me to change the way I … [Read more...]