It's the little things. The details. It's the sounds and smells and little moments that I can't just can't seem to pull up from the memory vault. I'm sure that's normal 10 years after the birth and death of our son. In a few weeks, on February 24, I'll be running a half marathon in memory of Charlie. I've been raising funds for the Ronald … [Read more...]
I have spent all morning on Facebook. Usually when I do that these days, I get annoyed at myself, because that means I am procrastinating doing the things I should be doing. But not today. Today I was fulfilling a promise to my twin girls who died inside me when they were 23.5 weeks old. I promised to make their lives mean something. Somehow, someway. … [Read more...]
When Fran emailed me asking me to be part of Still Standing I immediately just about fell out of my chair because I felt so honored. After I managed to shut my jaw, I next thought about what I wanted to write about. Immediately, I knew I just had to write about doing good in your baby's name. So much good comes from our little ones' short lives. I … [Read more...]
Miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss. For years, we weren't supposed to talk about it. Because of women like all of you, that's changing. One woman in particular is lifting the taboo surrounding the death of our beautiful babies. My friend Devan has had 12 miscarriages, and a stillbirth. I can't imagine. I really, really can't. When others might … [Read more...]
These days, memories of Bella's loss come back to me in fragmented flashbacks. A lot of these memories sneak up on my unexpectedly and involve the hurtful things 'they did wrong' Every now and again though, my heart swells with a memory of what someone did right. I vividly remember the drive home from the hospital. The sun shining too brightly, … [Read more...]
Guest Post by Ashley Quarles My journey began on September 1, 2004 when I welcomed my first child into the world – a beautiful, 8.6 pound baby boy. In that moment, I fell in love. On November 15, 2009, life as I had known it for the previous 5 years, 2 months and 15 days was changed dramatically. My precious child, my only son, was involved … [Read more...]
When my daughter was born, my heart was full. I didn't know so much love was possible. I didn’t know it was possible to care about another person that much. Five days later, she died. No word exists to describe the level of devastation that wrecked in my love. But, that love. That love would never go away. In fact, I was determined to see it … [Read more...]
My son should be turning seven. Seven. So far I’ve survived five of his birthdays without him. Five. He was killed when he was two. Two. It doesn’t add up. It hasn’t since the day he was violently robbed from me and it never will. Just thinking about another birthday without him makes me want [...]
Guest Post by Megan Skaggs My first Mother’s Day was an incredible mix of emotions. I didn’t really know whether to be happy or sad; or crying or not. I remember feeling quite numb. Our surviving twin son, Will, was about 10 months old. His identical twin brother, MJ, had been dead for about 9 [...]
