• 3 Lessons on Loss from My Rainbow

    May 6, 2018

    Last month marked five years since the birth and death of our first child. Five years since we held our tiny baby boy. Five years since we said goodbye. In those five years, we have grieved, we have changed, and we have learned so much. Many of the lessons we have learned have come from…

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  • Grieving in Words

    April 3, 2018

    One in four pregnancies end in loss. That is one of the statistics that if I heard it before February 22nd, 2013 I must have not listened. I mean those kinds of things only happen to other people. Not to me. We planned for this baby. We are ready. Certainly that could never happen to…

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  • ring on jewelry dish

    The Missing Ring

    January 21, 2018

    The day after we lost Joshua my mom gave me a ring to wear with his birthstone. I wore it every day for four and half years. Last month I noticed that one of the amethyst stones was missing. A prong had got bent and broke allowing the pale purple stone to fall out. I…

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  • An empty chair in front of Christmas Tree

    The Empty Chair

    December 17, 2017

    I have always loved the holidays. The magical glow of Christmas lights covering the city. The family that comes to visit. The traditions that I have always longed to share with my husband and our children. When we first found out we were expecting our son, Joshua, we were so excited to begin our new…

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  • Grief Brings Friends

    November 9, 2017

    Grief does not come alone. He brings along his friends to help crash your party too. Insomnia. Stress. Anxiety. These have all been my ever faithful companions since we lost our son, Joshua, four and a half years ago. But to be fair, the anxiety has always been there. It’s been something I’ve battled since…

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  • Choosing to Fight for Us

    October 5, 2017

    After we lost Joshua, I dug into every online support group I could find. More often I found stories of not just heartbreaking loss, but broken marriages and relationships that just couldn’t get past the loss. This terrified me. We had barely celebrated our one year anniversary. We still felt like newlyweds and now this.…

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  • A Rainbow – Angel Connection

    September 13, 2017

    “I think she’s see’s him.” I’ve been trying to explain the recent conversation with our three-year old, rainbow to my husband.  She’s been talking about “her brother” a lot lately.  She’s even talked about a conversation she had with him.  I know she has a good imagination, but the things she is saying… My husband…

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