• ring on jewelry dish

    The Missing Ring

    January 21, 2018

    The day after we lost Joshua my mom gave me a ring to wear with his birthstone. I wore it every day for four and half years. Last month I noticed that one of the amethyst stones was missing. A prong had got bent and broke allowing the pale purple stone to fall out. I…

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  • An empty chair in front of Christmas Tree

    The Empty Chair

    December 17, 2017

    I have always loved the holidays. The magical glow of Christmas lights covering the city. The family that comes to visit. The traditions that I have always longed to share with my husband and our children. When we first found out we were expecting our son, Joshua, we were so excited to begin our new…

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  • Grief Brings Friends

    November 9, 2017

    Grief does not come alone. He brings along his friends to help crash your party too. Insomnia. Stress. Anxiety. These have all been my ever faithful companions since we lost our son, Joshua, four and a half years ago. But to be fair, the anxiety has always been there. It’s been something I’ve battled since…

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  • Choosing to Fight for Us

    October 5, 2017

    After we lost Joshua, I dug into every online support group I could find. More often I found stories of not just heartbreaking loss, but broken marriages and relationships that just couldn’t get past the loss. This terrified me. We had barely celebrated our one year anniversary. We still felt like newlyweds and now this.…

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  • A Rainbow – Angel Connection

    September 13, 2017

    “I think she’s see’s him.” I’ve been trying to explain the recent conversation with our three-year old, rainbow to my husband.  She’s been talking about “her brother” a lot lately.  She’s even talked about a conversation she had with him.  I know she has a good imagination, but the things she is saying… My husband…

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  • The Happiness, Joy, & Healing of a Rainbow

    September 7, 2017

    The pain is there, of course, just a little more hidden these days, but the hope and promise that has come from having our rainbow, Madeline is something that I cannot deny. I’m not sure when it happened, but it did.  One day I woke up and the darkness didn’t seem so dark.  The light had…

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  • The Healing Power of Music

    August 1, 2017

    I can still remember sitting in my hospital bed shortly after holding our first born son for the first and last time all at once.  My mind was spinning in about a hundred different directions.  I had a million questions.  But I kept coming back to this song.  I kept searching my phone.  I knew…

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