• Redefining Christmas

    December 11, 2015

    Growing up, Christmas was a wonderful time. It was twinkling lights, sparkling bulbs, wintery pine, and shiny packages with swirling ribbons. It was big family gatherings, abundant food with mouth-watering scents wafting throughout the house full of laughing, excited, chatting people. Every room, every foot, every inch of space in our house was decorated. Nothing…

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  • You Know You’re a Bereaved Mother When…

    November 13, 2015

    …your child died and you’re left to pick up the shattered fragments of your life. …it seems like the whole world has a new baby to parade in front of you. …your milk comes in and your baby is not there to drink it. …you re-live it over and over again. …it becomes painfully obvious…

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  • Disparity

    October 9, 2015

    If you’re like me, you were told how special babies are your entire life. You were handed a baby doll to mother from the moment you were able to hold things. You had these dolls, and all the dolly accessories, and the play-sets, and all the toys and books you’d need to learn that motherhood…

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  • The Scream

    September 11, 2015

      It was a few weeks after Samuel died. The fog of shock was lifting and the devastating reality of his lifelong absence was settling into my heart. I wandered around our silent house, searching for something – anything – but came up empty. There was nothing. My arms ached from the desire to hold…

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  • One Sweet Day

    August 14, 2015

    One sweet day, I will close my eyes here for the last time, and open them there for the first. Your sparkling eyes, your darling smile, your soft hair and skin – everything wonderful I’ve missed about you – will welcome me on that sweetest of days. One again, I’ll hold you. Once again, I’ll…

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  • Giving In To Grief

    July 13, 2015

    This past spring, I was fortunate enough to attend the Selah weekend retreat by the MISS Foundation. It was led by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore. I have been a follower of her work with bereaved families, and was excited to be with her as a guide as I explored my grief and healing over the long…

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  • Breaking the Second Silence

    June 15, 2015

    I am a mother. My son Samuel died four hours after birth. It has been over three years since he died. It’s been almost four years since we decided to start our family.  I am not trying to conceive another child. My arms and heart ache for the family we should have.  Each of those…

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