Paul De Leon is the father of a baby too beautiful for Earth. In March of 2011, one week before her scheduled delivery, Bella’s heart simply stopped beating. Her cry was never heard. He hopes to carry her story and give her a voice so that all those who will hear it, might find something that may help in their own journey of grief.
Why do my children decide to climb on the outside and restricted area of the McDonalds play place? The one building they purposely invite you to explore winding slides, rope bridges and twisting tunnels is still not enough to keep them from eagerly pushing the boundaries. Amidst the many children who run, jump and scream throughout the play place, I … [Read more...]
The structure of a support system is something that I haven’t been very familiar with in my personal life. I have cloudy memories of some tradition when I was a small boy. Those memories usually came from holidays and they are blurry at best. At some point in both my immediate and extended family, something broke and has not been fixed since. Was … [Read more...]
It has been two years. Two years ago, on March 5th, we said hello and goodbye. It has been a tough month. The anticipation was just as dreadful last year. The seemingly dreary day approached slowly. This year, we felt a heaviness swarm in around my wife and I. The air was thick -- almost suffocating. Human beings have a natural built in … [Read more...]
Stillbirth. The word may not mean anything to some. On the other hand it means everything to others. The silence of a subject matter rarely discussed is about to be placed front and center if director Sean Hanish has anything to do with it in his new film RETURN TO ZERO. RETURN TO ZERO is based upon the real-life experience of Hanish and his wife. … [Read more...]
Why is the sky blue? Why do dogs have four legs? If we are going to sleep later, why do we have to make the bed? If we didn't have a nose, what would we smell with? The questions my children ask are sometimes clever, sometimes silly but always demanding of an answer. On more than one occasion I've had to default to the just because answer … [Read more...]
Infant loss doesn't ask to come into your life. Uninvited, it thrust itself full force into the midst of whatever world you have created. It shows no bias or favor of persons. Anyone is fair game. Anyone is susceptible to the endless reach of its grip and the life-changing catastrophe that settles in as mother and father surmise the damage. One thing … [Read more...]
I opened the front door of our home and started walking. A new subdivision was under construction behind our home. Beyond the construction zone, it opened into a field marked with a tall wooden post that was spray painted with orange numbers. Honestly, it wasn’t the walk that I desired but rather some time alone. I needed to write. I needed … [Read more...]
“Lord we come to you now.” He paused as if searching for the words. "We pray for this precious little baby girl, Bella. Lord we know you are in control.” I opened my eyes, as my Pastor continued his prayer. “Lord even now, I pray, if it is your will, that you perform a miracle here. I trust that you can. Amen.” I slouched to the chair … [Read more...]
My upbringing taught me things that happened during our lives were for a reason. Sometimes the reason was quite evident. While other times, when it mattered most, the reason seemed to be just out of sight, hidden, never to be found. The why went unanswered when my parents divorced. The why remained unsolved when my, then twelve-year-old son, moved … [Read more...]
When I reached down to pick up the box, it took little strength to carry. How could this loss cause me to drag my feet with the heaviness of despair, yet her coffin was comfortably secure in the partially tensed muscles of my arms? I made the walk past the rows of mourners and placed the casket on the table which was framed by beautiful flowers. To … [Read more...]
Guest Post by Melissa Neu I don’t know that I’ve ever been so exhausted. Sit and cry exhausted. Stomach hurting exhausted. “I’m tired, I’m worn, my heart is heavy. From the work it takes, to keep on breathing…” I’ve been seeing a counselor. I had put off making the appt I knew I needed because [...]
Guest Post by Emilee Frisbie If someone would have told me a year ago where I would be now, I never would believe them. I would tell them that stories that sad are made up, purely fiction. I would tell them, things like that don’t happen to me. They don’t happen to my family. I [...]
