• She Would Be Four

    May 9, 2017

    She would be four today. I’ve been gone from Still Standing Magazine a long while.  I’ve been gone from the entire communities in both the loss and infertility aspects.  I don’t feel I have a place here anymore. There is no more trying to have a child anymore for me. My losses, my children, will…

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  • “You’ll have your baby some day!”

    September 28, 2016

    In the infertility world, there are things that every infertile cringes at hearing. “Just relax!!” “Go on vacation, you’ll come back pregnant” “Just adopt, my hairdressers husbands cousins teacher adopted and 3 months later she found out she was pregnant!” We have all heard those in one form or another more times than we ever…

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  • The Mother Heart, it’s real

    September 21, 2016

    Apparently having a “Mother Heart” is real. Not because I’m a loss mom but because some one pure of heart and mind said so. A child.  A child very dear to my heart told me matter of fact that I’m a Mom. Since I was young I’ve always had children in my life, started when…

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  • Another year gone but we made it!

    September 7, 2016

    We made it! (but not without tears)   We made it through another Holiday season. (for some of us, just barely) We made it through the onslaught of holiday pregnancy announcements. (about 10 at my last count) We made it through all the holiday get togethers with the tiny tots opening presents. (will our children…

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  • The Missing Pieces

    August 31, 2016

    December 1st.  2 days ago. December 1st, 2007.  5 years ago. The reason I don’t care about Thanksgiving.  The reason I’m having to learn to like the holidays again. I lost my second baby and lost my fertility.  I should have a 4 year old. I was so excited, I shared the news to family…

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  • Sex: The Infertile Frontier

    August 24, 2016

    Let’s talk about sex, yes, doing the deed, baby dancing, getting it on, doing the dirty. Imagine with me for a moment… You’re in the bathroom, you take out your “special cup”, you know the one that you pee in and use to dip all your tests in.  You dip your ovulation test and sit…

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  • You Know You are an Infertile, Trying to Conceive When…

    August 14, 2016

    My intent this month was to write something a little more light hearted and funny.  We’ve all had those special and whacky moments in our journey where we have thought to ourselves, “Did this really just happen?  Is this real life!!??”  and I went to a special group of ladies and not only got some…

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