• Dealing with Seasons of Withdrawals and Grief

    September 22, 2016

    Writing this month has been by far the most challenging for me.  I am currently on the “withdrawal list” from life around me.  Even posting to Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media site has been unwelcomed by this time in my life.  I want it to all go away.  Or I will go away…

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  • Finding a voice after losing my son…

    September 21, 2016

    Lately I have been surrounded in a sea of pregnancies, babies, congratulations to families here and there and I must say that each time, even in my excitement and joy for others, my heart bleeds for Matthew too.  It is not so comfortable to admit that, but it is the truth. Sometimes it will even…

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  • Fruitcake and a New Year…

    September 7, 2016

    With the New Year on the horizon and the 2012 holiday season closing, I must admit that I cannot help but remember how relieved I was at the end of 2005 when my “first” holidays without Matthew were over.  I don’t even think relieved is “enough” of a word for that! I sit here and…

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  • Tis’ the Season… the Gift of Grace

    August 30, 2016

      Tis’ the season, right? How many of you wish people giving thanks would just hush and the sound of holiday cheer would just go away? I would have been the first one with my hand in the air if asked that in 2005, maybe even in 2007, perhaps even in 2008… and surprisingly (or…

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  • Ready… or Not?

    August 23, 2016

    After Matthew passed away, I started searching for an online support group for mothers like me who had suffered a uterine rupture.  When I was accepted to the group, I had an eager expectation of finding someone I could relate to and I started reading.  I read a couple of stories and tried really hard…

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  • From “Grief Monster” to “Mommy” Again…

    August 12, 2016

    “I want to take your baby from you and ask you how it feels!” WHAT?  I know, right?  Yes, this is exactly how I felt in the early months after losing Matthew!  I wanted to go to the hospital nursery and take ALL of the precious new babies and then go and ask their mamas…

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  • REALITY after losing a child…

    July 27, 2016

    I am totally intrigued by the reality that seems to be all over the airwaves today in our society.  Intrigued because reality is defined as “the quality or state of being actual or true.”  And what we see on the reality television shows can be narrowed down to this-  “Relating to or being a genre…

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