• Walking A Tightrope

    May 20, 2015

    I don’t know about you, but I have a healthy fear of heights.  The older I get, the worse the fear.  Perhaps it has to do with a feeling of loss of control when up so high.  I had a dream recently about being on the very top of the one of the World Trade…

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  • Living After Loss

    February 20, 2015

    Your baby has died.  The unexpected has happened to you.  Your world has stopped turning, and you can’t believe that it continues to turn for other people.  You walk through life sad and numb for a good while until you slowly start to feel the world turning again.  It starts small.  Maybe you allow yourself…

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  • Soldier

    January 16, 2015

    I am a soldier.  Not in the traditional sense of the word, for I am not in the military forces.  Rather, I am a soldier in the forces of women who have endured the loss of a baby. I put on my fatigues every day.  Even though I wash them regularly, they are worn.  Tattered. …

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  • Sailing Back

    October 17, 2014

    I sailed back this month.  I sailed back to five years ago, the time leading up to, during, and after I lost my first baby, my son, Marco.  While I think of Marco every day, as I carry him in my heart, I don’t really sail back in time too often.  It’s too painful. Although…

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  • The Beast is Stirring

    September 19, 2014

    There once was a beast that lived in a ditch.  He was mean and ugly.  Scary too.  Let’s name him…Igor.  I found myself in his presence after the loss of my first child, my son Marco, almost 5 years ago. I knew he was there, but my sister is the one who pointed him out…

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  • Still Me

    August 15, 2014

    I was going to write a post about the old me – the me that walked into the perinatologist’s office on August 20, 2009 wearing a red shirt, black cargo capri pants and sandals with flowers on them – yes, that me.  The me that was 22 weeks 6 days pregnant with Marco, my first…

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  • Grieving Mother

    July 18, 2014

    Grieving mother, I see you there.  I see you, numb from the shock of what has just happened.  I see you sitting in the hospital bed alone that night, the night that your baby died.  You can’t believe that this is your life.  You can’t believe that you have just had to say goodbye to…

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