• The Long Fight

    September 21, 2016

    Four months after my son’s death, I discovered that I was pregnant again. I had pleaded for months to be tested for the rare metabolic disorder that Aidan died of, knowing that there was a risk of me becoming ill in the post-partum period if I was a carrier. But our geneticist’s limited knowledge of…

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  • Sticks and Stones

    September 8, 2016

    “Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.” I recited that rhyme often as a child, and as an adult I repeated it to children I knew. I lived by it’s words – I never let what people said about me interfere with how I lived my life, and I…

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  • Seasons Without You

    September 7, 2016

    Guest Post by Helen My son was born in March. Spring; the season of new life. I brought the beautiful, healthy little boy I had carried for nine months into the world, and two days later I watched him fade away. Spring escaped me. And then, somehow, it was summer. The summer I had dreamed…

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  • A Reason to Live (Guest Post)

    August 2, 2016

    Guest Post by Helen I was six months pregnant when my dear friend’s baby boy was stillborn. I remember clearly the moment my husband told me the news. I remember crying for her and for him, putting my head in my hands and saying those famous last words, “If that happened to us, I don’t…

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  • Three.

    March 6, 2015

    He is three today. Somewhere, somehow. His hair is dark and long and his laugh is loud. And his eyes are molten chocolate, just like hers. And he lets her help blow out his candles and she sings ‘Happy Birthday’. He laughs because she is little and he is grown and she doesn’t know the…

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  • He Walks With Me.

    September 29, 2014

    It has been two years, six months, three weeks exactly since my son took his last breath in my arms. The last hours of his life on earth were an infinite lapse in time where only he and I existed. A parallel plane, where in a flutter of seconds a lifetime of love was spun between…

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  • I look for Aidan everywhere.

    Aidan is Everywhere

    August 17, 2013

    In three weeks, my son should be eighteen months old. Except he is not. He is forever two days old. He weighs six pounds, four and a half ounces, always. He is still the only-just-born babe that snuggled close to my chest and slept in my arms. Still my first child, who changed everything I…

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