After losing my son Emmett nearly two years ago, I couldn’t comprehend the idea of “joy.” How could I possibly ever find delight or pleasure in the same activities and thoughts that I once found so enjoyable? I felt such overwhelming guilt. Survivor’s guilt. Why couldn’t it have been me instead of my son? I…
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When There’s Uncertainty That a Rainbow Will Ever Come
I never heard the term rainbow baby until suddenly being plummeted into the pregnancy loss world nearly two years ago. Today, I’m uncertain that my husband and I ever will be able to experience the beauty and joy of a rainbow after the savage storm. Last summer, I found out that nine friends all were…
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Lessons I Learned About Grief and Loss from Doctor Who
First thing you need to know about me: I’m a nerd and I love BBC’s “Doctor Who.” If you don’t know what “Doctor Who” is, I’ll get to that in a moment. Second thing you need to know about me: I lost my son Emmett. It’s been a difficult 18 months trying to navigate this…
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10 Bible Quotes to Provide Hope and Strength After Loss
I can’t say I’ve regularly read the Bible before or that I’m an overly religious person. You could call me a “recovering Catholic” as I grew up with a strict Filipino father where we went to weekly mass and prayed the rosary; I was an altar server and went to CCD classes at our church.…
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How A Memorial Tattoo Helped Me Mourn My Son
Shortly after coming home from the hospital, I had decided that I wanted a memorial tattoo in honor of Emmett. The new ink would be a constant reminder of the love I carry for him. So, I needed to find something that was symbolic of him and this journey. My husband’s family bought a hydrangea…