I believe in feeding the spirit with lifelong learning, photographic healing, and a glass half full perspective. I'm a coffee addict and an iPhone junkie who thrives on sunshine and light. I look to the sky to feel closer to my first born angel and feel her warmth. You can find me on facebook, twitter, and my blog where I'll nourish your mind, body, & soul with photography tips and inspiration.
Living life as a baby loss mom mom feels a bit awkward. Like you don’t fit quite right. Not knowing when to keep your ‘secret’ tucked inside, and when to let it all hang out. Defending you motherhood. When it begins. And how it never ends. Even if you don’t have the ‘proof’ to show for it. You are more mother than anyone … [Read more...]
Family Vacation. Not words I thought I'd want to utter after losing our precious first daughter and most certainly not something I thought I'd ever enjoy again. The last true 'vacation' we took was just after losing Bella. It didn't feel much like carefree getaway though. It was more like an escape, from a cruel reality we needed to run … [Read more...]
Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything Take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour Has come to this ~Christina Perri~ I stepped into her photography studio, silk and lace and heels tucked cautiously away optimistically apprehensive. After 3 years it was time. To … [Read more...]
Last holiday season our family found Bella in the most unlikely of places. The gift tags on the Christmas tree at Nordstrom. I'm used to finding her in the darkness of our bedroom as I'm drifting off to sleep. Or in the rays of light streaming through our windows during a sunny day. Or in the 60 minute commute to work in the morning sipping my coffee … [Read more...]
Tomorrow Americans will be sitting down with family and friends for their annual Thanksgiving meal. It's a time for us to come together, break bread, carve turkey, dig into mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and stuffing. But more so, it's a time to reflect upon appreciation, gratitude, and give thanks for the many blessings in our life. But what if … [Read more...]
It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. ~Eleanor Roosevelt One of the quickest, easiest, and fastest ways found to feel closer to my Bella Rose after her death was through lighting candles. I've often said Bella is my 'guiding light' through grief and life, so it's no surprise that lighting candles in honor of her is one way I'm … [Read more...]
Last week we were stopped in the grocery store (again) so a complete stranger could admire her. Our rainbow, Brielle. It happens quite frequently actually and I used to think it was just because she was a baby, and she was chubby, and she was cute. But I'm beginning to think there might be more to the story. The comments for these admirers are … [Read more...]
My body failed me. It was raw autumn afternoon in 2009 and there was a chill in the air. Maybe it was the change in seasons. Or maybe it was the universe cluing me in. Our daughter wouldn't make it. I was 20 weeks pregnant. She was our first baby and suddenly our hopes, dreams, and plans for the future were whipped around in that crisp fall … [Read more...]
“In the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn't matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass We had just returned home from the our 3rd sonogram in 2 weeks with potentially fatal news about our first child. We were conflicted, there was no cut and dry diagnosis. But she was the … [Read more...]
These days, memories of Bella's loss come back to me in fragmented flashbacks. A lot of these memories sneak up on my unexpectedly and involve the hurtful things 'they did wrong' Every now and again though, my heart swells with a memory of what someone did right. I vividly remember the drive home from the hospital. The sun shining too brightly, … [Read more...]
Guest Post by Melissa Neu I don’t know that I’ve ever been so exhausted. Sit and cry exhausted. Stomach hurting exhausted. “I’m tired, I’m worn, my heart is heavy. From the work it takes, to keep on breathing…” I’ve been seeing a counselor. I had put off making the appt I knew I needed because [...]
I used to utter the phrase “You are so strong” to others when I had no idea what else to say. Little did I know how painful that was to actually hear until it was said to me after my losses. Alice was our first loss, and an early one in the beginning of an [...]
