I am one of the hundreds of loss parents who have so passionately responded to your insensitive ‘Dear Crystal’ post on June 8th, where you so effortlessly called Dear
Crystal’s Aunt “truly sad” for celebrating her stillborn daughter’s death on her first birthday.
I am one of the many Facebook and Instagram comments that you have failed to acknowledge, with which we have all been waiting for you to #ApologizeDearAbby.
Today, that “apology” arrived in your response to ‘Dear Adrianne,’ as she shared her beautiful Evelyn who died at 21 weeks gestation with you.
“I apologize to any and all grieving parents who were affected by my answer because it’s clear that my response caused hurt feelings, and for that I am truly sorry.” – Dear Abby, July 2019
On behalf of grieving parents everywhere, we appreciate the apology; however, you still had a BIG MISS HERE.
Your response didn’t just “hurt” our feelings, you completely disregarded every single one of our children, as well as continued the false perception of what grief and child loss should look like.
If you would have had read even just one story, you would have been introduced to the beautiful ways we loss parents share our dead children’s light in all we do.
You didn’t just “hurt” my feelings, you insulted me and every single one of my fellow loss parents by grief shaming us.
A true apology fully accepts blame for the actions that were created by someone’s (YOUR) actions and then attempts to make improvements.
It’s time to truly update your education on grief and child loss because your views are outdated and shameful.
My baby, my TJ is dead. Yet, we honor him every single day in all we do. No time will ever replace his absence.
Why and how is that healthy? Because, Dear Abby, for loss parents our children are dead, but their honor and love exists and thrives in all we do.
No time will ever change that.
I would, however, like to thank you for empowering all of us to #breakthesilencearoundloss.
Unfortunately, child loss continues to affect 1 in 4 families in the US.
Despite the pain that so many families will experience, our child loss community will continue supporting those who join us, and challenging individuals like yourself on doing better.
We will not grieve in silence because our pain makes you uncomfortable.
You, Dear Abby, must do better and update your outdated views on child loss and grief if you want to stay relevant and better support your viewers. #DoBetterDearAbby
A big hug to those who have shared their beautiful babies – please continue sharing with us!