Sometimes the idea

That my baby will still be here tomorrow

Seems impossible.

Every day that I wake up with small kicks inside of me is surreal.

I feel like nothing more

Than fractured pieces clinging desperately to one another

Trying to protect the magic life within my womb,

And it is a lonely, terrifying, beautiful experience.

One that I want to end.

I want to rush forward

To the moment where my baby is in my arms,

Healthy and alive.

Saying that breaks my heart,

Because I have longed to be pregnant for years,

But the utter happiness and bliss of this experience was taken from me.

And yet

This rainbow pregnancy is the most wonderful gift

I’ve ever received.


Print Friendly, PDF & Email

  • Comment through Facebook


    Heidi Beltran

    Heidi Beltran

    Heidi Beltran is the mother of Talia Luna, who was lost to a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks in April of 2016, and her yet-unnamed Rainbow Baby due December 2017. You can follow her on Instagram to see her journey through pregnancy after loss.