I remember the first couple of weeks and months after saying goodbye to my precious Jonah at 30 weeks gestation due to a heart condition as extremely difficult and filled with so many ups and downs, I felt like a marionette doll living someone else’s life, because there’s no way that much sadness could be…
My pregnancy started and 16 weeks later the words, “no heartbeat,” were spoken. I quickly fell through the trap door into a world of darkness, pain and suffering.
Fortunately, I was working with an amazing home birth midwife who instantly wrapped me in her warm embrace. With her great wisdom, she worked tirelessly to ensure that I was able to climb out of that soul crushing underworld.
Roughly 10 weeks after I gave birth, to the tiny infant that I so desperately desired to know, my midwife and her apprentice offered to honor my journey through a Closing the Passageway Ceremony.
Closing the Passageway was a simple ritual that involved 4 parts. The materials needed were a rebozo and healing herbs.
Very few material resources were needed. In fact, the key element seems to be an overwhelming depth of authentic support and genuine loving connection. There are many ways to work through and cope with the sadness of miscarriage. However, allowing the midwives to work their gentle magic by helping my body work through the overwhelming experience of miscarriage was deeply rejuvenating.
They honored my experience by creating the space and time for my body and spirit to realign in a place of peace and calming.
These simple ritual’s allowed me to mentally and physically process many of the emotions that I was feeling. Ultimately, through laying quietly and being mindful of my journey I was able to realize that I was grateful for the beautiful gift’s that this tiny soul had given me. Despite my sadness, I was able to mentally shift my thinking to a path of healing.
Guest story by Emmy Kissinger, a School Psychologist, blogger and millennial mama. Check out more posts by Emmy on her blog Bright little Mama.