You Know You are an Infertile, Trying to Conceive When…
My intent this month was to write something a little more light hearted and funny. We’ve all had those special and whacky moments in our journey where we have thought to ourselves, “Did this really just happen? Is this real life!!??” and I went to a special group of ladies and not only got some of the humor I was looking for but also those heart breaking moments too. It changed how I decided to do this months article.
I hope you can laugh, giggle, smile, cry, groan, and nod in agreement to the list I compiled.
You know you are an Infertile, trying to conceive when…
… you can’t remember the date but know what cycle day you are on.
… you plan your shopping trips so that you can avoid the baby sections in stores.
…your life revolves in two-ish week increments; the follicular phase and luteal phase.
.. you know the difference between the follicular phase and luteal phase.
… you start speaking in acronyms and don’t even realize it until you get the blank stares.
… you master the fake smile when talking about other peoples pregnancies or newborns as you’re struggling not to cry.
… someone says they have exciting news, you automatically think it’s a pregnancy announcment.
… you could have bought, say a car, with all the money you’ve spent on pregnancy tests, ovulation kits, herbal remedies, etc.
… you buy a pregnancy test along with tampons.
… the only friends that understand you are the ones on the internet.
… you want to punch my old self in the face for being the “so when are you trying for a baby” person.
… your past orders in on-line stores show nothing but ovulation kits and pregnancy tests.
… you haven’t had normal spontaneous sex that had nothing to do with babymaking in long time.
…a good day or a bad day is determined by your BBT
… someone invites you for a big event or activity and you say “let me check my calendar and I will let you know” and what you really mean is your basal body temp calendar to see where you are in your cycle and if that event/activity would be “in the way” or at a bad time. You do this for events in the future as well and add a margin of error to your calendar since your ovulation date can change a bit.
… you see a pregnant lady and you start comparing yourself to her just to make yourself feel better….well she may be pregnant but my shoes are cuter!
… your young child has witnessed you peeing in a cup so many times that you start catching them peeing in one too.
… you keep a special cup in the bathroom to pee in.
…you’ve stopped saying “When I get pregnant” and started saying “If I get pregnant”…
… your friends are actually scared to tell you that they’re pregnant or even TTC because you might melt-down on them depending on which day they tell you.
… hopefulness is seen as a silly little indulgence that you can no longer afford. When being positive is for all those naive people.
… you are more worried about having a nice pedicure for in the stirrups than your butt hanging out.
… you look up every weird symptom and hope it comes up as a pregnancy symptom…hmmmmm, I have a lot of ear wax today…I must be pregnant!
… you’re so desperate to talk to your doctor that you call them from work, locked in your closet, bc you’re a teacher and there is no where private to make a phone call & you don’t want your colleagues or students to overhear you talking about sperm!
… you determine what pain reliever to take based on where you are in your cycle.
… your BFF tells you “I thought I might be pregnant last month and I felt guilty thinking I can get pregnant before you”
… your friends have heard your lingo so many times they now know what CD, BD, & DPO mean.
… you are peeing in a cup and somehow end up with pee on your face.