Watching a friend experience the loss of their baby and the grief that remains can feel so helpless. Unfortunately, there isn’t a “one-size fits all” approach to support a grieving friend through loss, but there are many ways to be supportive. When my daughter died at 33-days-old, it was the first loss of this type…
Miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss. For years, we weren’t supposed to talk about it. Because of women like all of you, that’s changing. One woman in particular is lifting the taboo surrounding the death of our beautiful babies.
My friend Devan has had 12 miscarriages, and a stillbirth. I can’t imagine. I really, really can’t. When others might hide, she’s given a voice to this cause. She started the site Unspoken Grief, but also writes about her feelings and advocates for other moms on mainstream sites like Babble.com.
Last weekend I sat next to her at a major blogging conference, BlogHer12 in New York City. The conference wasn’t even about baby loss, but here we were two baby loss moms shining light on the entire community. I kept thinking about how amazing this was. We were on the panel talking about social media for social good. Devan was nominated for a the annual Bloganthropy award for all of her work for this community.
And then she won!
A baby loss mom got a great big huge giant pat on the back for talking about baby loss.
I was recognized with an achievement award after being nominated in 2010 and then going on to still use my blog for social good. Two grieving moms recognized and appreciated.
We’ve come a long way. Devan’s work is spectacular, but she’s one of many that are bravely standing up for loss moms, including my fellow writers on this site.
Can you imagine this happening even five years ago? We’ve got a long way to go, but maybe, just maybe thanks to the work of Devan, Fran, Carly, Kristin and many, many others, people won’t turn their backs when we talk about our babies, they’ll start asking more questions. Maybe one day all loss moms will be able to talk openly and freely about their babies.
I’m proud of this community.
Devan was awarded a monetary prize and today, I got word that she’s donated it to the organization I started in my daughter’s name. I’m completely speechless at her generosity, and find it so some symbolic of what we can all do when we work together.