As part of the community event May We All Heal: A photographic healing journey for mothers in May, created by seven mothers of the Grieving Parents Support Network, I shared an image on Instagram with a heart saying:
“Two hearts beating as one – Hope & Passion”
Below the image, I wrote:
Hope & Passion made me a mother 44 months ago on September 1st 2011. They entered the ‘outside the womb world’ to become Ananda Mae and Amya Mirica.
44 months ago today I had the honour of accompanying Amya back to the doorway between this world and the next, an honour that no mother would choose but nevertheless an honour of holding her in my arms as she was reborn into spirit.
It seemed to me that this picture and the accompanying text stirred up an interesting conversation in the comment section. Someone wrote “so painfully beautiful” and another comment read “what a true honour it is. Thank you for reminding me of this.” The two comments which, in particular, got me thinking about writing this article for you were:
“I love this and how you said you accompanied her back to the doorway between this world and the next. I never thought of it that way and to think of it that way is an honour. It is also the truth. Thank you so much for sharing this and helping me to see you this way. It really has touched my heart…”
“Interesting to hear it described as an honour. I always knew it as a duty not for the weak of heart. But to those who have lost children one apart from them it must seem like an honour.”
The question really is, what is the story we are telling ourselves about our lives in our case about the death of our baby or child?
Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with the story you are telling yourself until it doesn’t suit you any more or until you’ve outgrown it. Then you have the choice of simply continuing to repeat it or to rewrite it.
In the past I would have written, “As she died in my arms” which is also the truth. So why did I choose a different description now? It is because when I wrote the accompanying text for that image I consciously choose the words to reflect the truth of my story today.
In the light of this month’s healing journey why not make your story one which could be tagged with “May I Heal, Too”.
With light and love – May We All Heal
#MayWeAllHeal – Support and encourage the community project on Instagram.
Nathalie Himmelrich is the author of a number of resource books for bereaved parents and the producer of the Podcast How to Deal With Grief and Trauma. As a relationship coach, grief recovery expert, and bereaved mother herself she believes that relationships (intimate and with other support people) are the foundation for a healthy grieving experience. She is also the founder of the Grieving Parents Support (GPS) Network and the May We All Heal peer support group.
Find Nathalie’s books here: Nathalie Himmelrich or the Grieving Parents Support Network here: Grieving Parents
{Your Thoughts}