I am thankful for you
because even though the pain and the loneliness of missing you is sometimes
that I can only breath in gasps of air that sting
and even though I will always be partly incomplete
I still, somehow, have you.
Because even though I only got to have you for a wink of time
given the choice, I would still chose that over never getting to know you at all.
The briefest time with you
swept in tears and yearning for moremoremore
is something I will always be grateful I got to have at all.
To have held your tiny body, those hands so small I never would have imagined, your legs, thin and shiny like a frog’s… it’s engraved in my heart forever, one of the sweetest moments that make me a mom, that make me who I am.
I will take the tears and the heartache and always missing part of the greatest love, because I got to be your mom.
And that, my girl, I will always be ever so grateful for.
Because thanks to you I see life so differently now.
I thank you for being the light around my world, for reminding me of the beauty, of the gift that life actually is.
Sometimes I miss you so, so much, and I wonder, a little (a lot) if there is some stupid point to it all. That is when I go outside and I sit in your garden. I breath the fresh air and I let the sun shine around me. I feel you. I now know that sometimes I need to be still to feel myself, to feel your love alive inside me.
I am thankful for you.