When my daughter died, I gained at least 80 pounds. I ate my way through grief. I loved comfort food, coupled with a total inability to fully function and cook, I would eat ice cream for dinner followed by a candy bar (yummmm, chocolate).
I remember standing in front of the oven and trying to cook when my sister in law came three weeks later. I just couldn’t put it together. So for the next year and a half, we lived off of fast food and convenience food.
I had plenty of baby weight to show for my pregnancy, but no living baby.
“It’s hard to lose the weight after pregnancy,” I constantly hear. Internally, I roll my eyes. Try losing it without the baby. I wasn’t breastfeeding, or later running after a toddler.
I have to admit, I barely paid attention to my weight for the first year. My baby was dead. It didn’t matter what I weighed or looked like.
Then I tried to get pregnant and miscarried after months of trying. I knew I had a problem. I faced reality when it came to my weight. I’m not even close to healthy.
It’s a new focus, but lately I’ve been working on losing all that weight. I get so impatient because I want it to come off this month so I’ll be healthy to try again.
But anyone that’s ever tried to lose weight knows it doesn’t happen that way. It’s a long process.
I struggle with having days where I think I eat too much, or eat the wrong things, and mentally beat myself up over it.
This month, my Grandma died. I was so close to her, and after everything calmed down and I had time at home, I found myself wanting to stuff my face constantly, and eat my way through grief again.
I know it’s going to be a lot of work, but I’m finally ready to lose this baby weight. Anyone else gain weight after your baby died? How did you lose it?